Thank you for following Beulah Girl. I am grateful that you have chosen to support the blog whether via Twitter, Facebook or Gmail. It is rare that I write a letter to you directly; however, I wanted to write to you specifically to share my heart and also offer an apology.
I founded the blog some time ago to follow God’s leading to start a self-worth ministry for women. The difficulty I didn’t anticipate when I started was the difficulty one faces when heading a ministry — even a small one such as this one. There is a reason that Scripture urges us to pray for our pastors and ministry leaders. When you head up a ministry of any kind, you instantly become a target for spiritual attack of all kinds — in your relationships, your family, your health, your relationship with God. There are truly some days when you can hardly breathe because the attack against you is so intense and so relentless.
While my aim has always been to share with you the healing God has done in me with the hope that you yourselves will find healing, I have found myself in an interesting predicament this last year. While I have been able to make great strides in my spiritual walk and in the areas of healing I have proclaimed on this blog, I have also taken on new wounds as a ministry leader. For some time now, I have been pummeled on every side by attacks that have been more than I can withstand. I have been the walking wounded. And, try as I might to rise above these wounds, I have found myself particularly vulnerable to enemy attack because of these wounds.
Therefore, not really intending to or realizing that I was doing it, I wrote a piece out of anger on strongholds. Though I wasn’t aware of it at the time, I was really aiming that piece towards another person. I have since apologized to that person and removed the piece from the site, but I realize that I was in the wrong for doing so. In addition, there was another piece that I published but did not release on social media. It also has been removed because I felt that it was not right in tone. As a ministry leader, I can never use Scripture aimed at another or target individuals with my words. That is a wrong use of my platform. Therefore, please know that while you may not have personally read this article or been impacted by this action, I felt a corporate confession of this necessary.
I know the impression of spiritual writers and teachers is that we can just throw out Scripture and lecture others, but that is not the case. As the Bible says, teachers are truly held to a higher standard. Everything that I preach here has to be lived out in my own life first. I believe very much in the practices of confession, repentance, and restitution and want to be the first to model that in my own life. I still plan to blog but will put some parameters in place that haven’t been there to ensure that I am more careful about I publish. I am sorry that I wasn’t the model I should have been and hope that you were not negatively impacted by my actions.
I am grateful for all of you and your support of this ministry.
Thanks again, friends!
Founder of Beulah Girl