About

About the Site:

Beulah Girl is a non-denominational Christian site devoted to helping women find their sense of worth and purpose in Christ. I aim to help other women who struggle with feelings of inferiority and insecurity discover how to identify their self-worth wounds, how to heal from them, and how to look to Jesus Christ for fulfillment of our human needs of love, acceptance, and worth.

My Story:

I felt called by God to leave the education field to embrace a calling in music ministry. However, soon after I left teaching, God revealed that there was something God wanted me to do first: dig back into a painful past and get healed. Through the process of facing my past, I quickly realized that I was called to share with other women how God was healing me from the rejection and pain I experienced from wounds in my childhood and young adulthood.

Before God led me on a process of healing, I always struggled with insecurity and feelings of low self-worth, but I never really knew the root of my problem. I didn’t know that beliefs I had formed about myself as a child were leading to unhealthy behavior patterns in my life. I compensated for my low feelings of worth by trying to earn the approval of those around me through my worth ethic, achievement, appearance, and behavior. Depending on others for their approval so that I could feel good about myself was a vicious cycle that left me feeling empty and always reaching for more. I experienced constant anxiety because I believed I always had to be the best in everything. When I didn’t “perform” perfectly or failed in a relationship or work venture, I sunk into depression. I was always on an emotional roller coaster and wasn’t experiencing freedom or peace as a Christian. Looking to others for praise and approval became an addiction. I wasn’t depending on God daily for my emotional fulfilment and spiritual sustenance. I was depending on the flighty opinions of others that could change from day to day.

To heal from the rejection I had experienced as a child that caused me to want to look to others for my sense of worth, God led me on an interesting journey where He took me out of an environment where I felt relatively successful (from a worldly perspective) and put me in a situation where I could not win the approval of others. He prodded me to leave my teaching job where I felt respected and competent and placed me in a brand new season where I felt like I was failing at everything. Nothing about the new direction I was attempting to go in was working out the way I thought it would, and I felt so frustrated. In the midst of my brokenness, I sought the Lord like never before and He revealed to me that I had an addiction to approval. After this revelation, He led me to take some steps to break the unhealthy ties to people in my life where I had looked to people and other things to fill in me what only God could. He taught me and is teaching me the truth about who I am in Him and who He made me to be.

I still struggle with feelings of low self-worth and insecurity at times, but I know the triggers now and my own tendencies. I know that Jesus is the solution to my deepest fears about being unwanted. My hope is that in sharing my own spiritual journey that others will find healing in areas where they may feel unwanted and beaten down. This knowledge will help them to replace lies they have believed for too long about themselves, and in turn, impact their behavior so that they don’t have to look to relationships, careers, substances, or other things in an unhealthy way to try to feel good about themselves.

Helpful Resources:

As I have walked this journey of learning how much God loves me and learning to love myself, I have written about my experiences and have put together some core resources for those struggling with feelings of inadequacy. You may not need all of these resources, but feel free to browse through them to look for those be the most helpful for you:

  • Resource 1 — 3 Keys to Start Your Healing Process: Read about my own journey to healing.
  • Resource 2, Resource 3 — Lies vs. Truth: Feelings of low self-worth result when an individual has negative self-talk. Chances are, if you struggle with feelings of inadequacy, you have very negative thoughts running through your head throughout the day. Changing out the lies you are telling yourself with God’s truth is a way to begin experiencing a better overall view of yourself and better peace throughout the day.
  • Resource 4, Resource 5, Resource 6 — Help for Depression: Negative thinking can lead to depression. Constantly feeling bad about ourselves affects our mood and may make us feel constantly down or depressed — even suicidal. Changing our thinking not only gives us more peace but can actually bring us out of deep depression and suicidal thinking.
  • Resource 7, Resource 8  — Breaking the Cycle of Rejection: Individuals struggling with low self-worth often unknowingly get trapped in a cycle of rejection. Because they have been rejected repeatedly, they oftentimes unknowingly begin to behave in ways that generates more rejection! Here’s how to recognize the cycle and break free it.
  • Resource 9, Resource 10 — Breaking Unhealthy Soul Ties: Soul ties are deep emotional connections we can develop with friends, family members, spouses, and other believers. God intended for us to have deep healthy soul ties to others; however, we can often develop unhealthy soul ties with others, particularly if we struggle with feelings of low self-worth. Individuals who feel inadequate struggle to feel  “good enough” or deserving of another’s love. They might put up with abuse or engage in a sexual relationship outside of God’s design for sex to feel loved. This might be a relationship with someone of the opposite sex or someone of the same sex. The feelings from the relationship will feel good for a time, but will only put a person in bondage because the relationship is outside of God’s design. Learning to love and respect yourself often involves breaking unhealthy relationships in your life and finding freedom from unhealthy soul ties.
  • Resource 11, Resource 12 — What God Says About You: Learning to love ourselves and develop a healthy view of ourselves means understanding what the Bible says about us and how much God loves us. Healing from the wounds of low self-worth and rejection from others happens when we look at the truths in Scripture that help us to see ourselves the way God sees us.

Connect With Me:

I would love for you become a part of the Beulah Girl online community and subscribe by following me on Twitter, Facebook, or by email. In addition, if you prefer to listen to rather than read the content of articles, you can subscribe to the blog podcast on Soundcloud. .

Although all of the articles offered on the site are written to encourage and help women find who they truly are in Christ, we also offer articles in the following areas:

Ministry: The process of launching into Christian ministry; the stresses of Christian ministry; the discovery and use of one’s spiritual gifts in ministry; the day-to-day grind of Christian ministry; and effective ways to minister and exist in the pressure-cooker of ministry using biblical principles.

Spiritual Life: The ups and downs of what it means to do life with Jesus Christ. Articles focus on topics such as faith, trust, obedience, and fear; I share how I am wrestling through the obstacles and trials I face on a daily basis.

Healing: A large focus of the site is on emotional and physical healing. I include personal struggles with depression, anxiety, self-hatred, unforgiveness, and other emotional or mental issues. I also record my own healing experiences and the healing experiences I have witnessed or hear about in others.

Relationships: I include articles that navigate what relationships rooted in biblical principles look like in contrast to relationships rooted in unhealthy behavior patterns and sin cycles. I discuss topics such as perfectionism, co-dependent relationships, approval addiction, and other types of negative behavior and relationship patterns. I also talk about what it means to be a mom, a wife, a sister, a friend — as I navigate my own faith walk.

Why the Name?

Beulah (pronounced bew-lah) is a word taken from a Isaiah 62:4 that says this: “No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hepzibah, and your land Beulah; for the LORD will take delight in you, and your land will be married” (emphasis mine). “Beulah” means “married” in Hebrew, and as commentator Albert Barnes notes, “The figure is taken from a female who had been divorced, and whose appropriate name was Forsaken.”

This verse is the central verse for the site because my focus is to remind women how much Jesus wants and pursues every woman. He wants the cast-offs, the ones that haven’t been loved (or don’t feel loved) and proclaims them “married” to Himself. No matter what our past circumstances have been or our current circumstances are, God desires to restore us and rename us “Beulah” rather than “Deserted.”

Even if we have been labeled “worthless” by others or feel that way because of our own failures, God believes we have incredible value as women and wants to be our husband and fill up those cracks — those places in our souls — that we have tried to fill with everything else. Because when we find our identity in Him rather than relationships, careers, or other pursuits, we find the fulfillment and purpose we are longing for.

What Do I Believe?

  • God is three persons: Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
  • Jesus Christ is God incarnate — He came to earth as an infant born to the virgin Mary; He was crucified and rose again. He sits at the right hand of the Father and will come to earth again.
  • Jesus Christ is the only way to salvation. Whoever believes in Him will gain everlasting life and will not perish (John 14:6).
  • Jesus offers forgiveness of sin for all who come to Him. A personal relationship with Jesus Christ is possible for all who come to Him and want to be saved.
  • Salvation is a gift from God and cannot be earned (Ephesians 2:8).
  • The Holy Spirit as the counselor Jesus promised when He ascended to heaven after His crucifixion. I believe in the gifts of the Holy Spirit and the manifestation of those gifts in the body of Christ (His church).
  • The Bible is the inspired Word of God — God-breathed and useful for instruction (2 Timothy 3:16). Nothing can be added or taken away from Scripture.
  • Scripture is stronger than any “double-edged sword” and exists to help guide us to live as Christ did (Hebrews 4:12).
  • Miracles can happen just as they did in Bible times. I believe that physical and emotional healing can take place in individuals. However, for reasons that we can’t always understand, God doesn’t choose to physically heal everyone. More on healing:
  1. God can heal any way He wants to and can heal both believers and unbelievers.
  2. God wants Christians to ask for healing and receive prayer from fellow Christians or elders.
  3. Illness can be caused by many things — sickness and disease came into the world when Adam and Eve sinned. We can also be born with an illness or deformity — or we can at times develop an infirmity because of unconfessed sin. In all cases, God wants to be our healer and can heal us. In the case of sin, God’s desire is not to condemn us but to reveal to us the sin that needs to be confessed or taken care of to take a step towards healing.
  4. God can heal through doctors or the medical community.
  5. Healing from God can be instantaneous or progressive.

 Publication Policy and Disclaimer

I engage in writing and ministry with a heart of “I am learning” rather than “I have already arrived.” I encourage you to test out the ideas I present on the site, as well as look up key concepts we present and compare those with Scripture and also ask God what He would have you do in your own life in similar areas.

In regards to articles on physical and emotional healing, while I readily share and promote the areas of healing God has brought in my own life and lives of others, I believe that healing comes according to God’s sovereign will. Each situation is individual, and the site’s articles are meant to turn you towards God to seek out your own healing and solutions — but will not necessarily guarantee the same exact result in your life that I or another contributor have experienced in hers. I encourage you not only to pray but to seek out help from the medical community, counselors or pastors — depending on your problem.

I regularly update and refresh the material in our articles. I may change minor sections or rearrange parts to make the article more accurate or more appealing. If we do so, I will note at the bottom when the date the article has been updated. If I feel an article is not in keeping with my mission or vision, I will pull it from the site. If I have made a major error or have had to make significant corrections, I will communicate that to readers. If you think I am in error concerning a piece, please send me an email via our Contact page.

 

Carol Whitaker

Carol Whitaker is a coach's wife, mom, writer, and singer. She left a career in teaching in 2011 to pursue a different path at God's prompting. While she thought that the path would lead straight to music ministry, God had different plans -- and Carol found herself in a crisis of spirituality and identity. Out of that place, Carol began writing about the lessons God was teaching her in her desert place and how God was teaching her what it meant to be healed from a painful past and find her identity in Him rather than a title, a relationship, a career, or a ministry. These days, Carol spends her time shuttling her little ones back and forth from school, supporting her coach-husband on the sidelines, and writing posts. Carol also continues to love music and hopes to pick up piano playing again. Carol is a self-proclaimed blog junkie and iced-coffee lover. She resides in Georgia with her husband and three children.

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