Hi friend,
Thank you for stopping by. I am so glad that you did.
A few years ago, God told me that I was going to start a self-worth ministry, and I had no idea how to do this or what my message even was going to be. Through a journey of several years that God took me on to address the past I had been running from, I learned through each hard conversation and difficult thing God had me do something really important: While I had always assumed I had made mistakes and bad choices because I was bad — I learned that there was a common thread that ran through all of my poor decisions. And it was this: I had a problem with identity.
I was believing a whole lot of lies and didn’t even know it. After suffering rejection in some key relationships, I determined I was unloveable and unworthy of others’ time and attention. Because of that belief I formed, I tried my best to hide who I really was and become what I thought other people wanted or needed. I formed a slew of coping mechanisms to help me get through every day:
- I became a people-pleaser.
- I found it difficult to say no or confront someone because I feared rejection.
- I attached myself to unhealthy people and let myself be used or used others in relationships.
- I used my work ethic and performance to earn affection and attention from people I didn’t feel worthy to be around.
- I couldn’t draw healthy boundaries in relationships.
- I developed an addiction to approval.
The list goes on. One by one, God took me down this list and showed me that I could live a different way and that I didn’t have to live in such dysfunction anymore.
The way that God began to help me change is to help me understand who I was in Him. Though I had grown up in church (baptized at age 7), I did not really understand who He made me to be. One key idea I learned in a Hope training course I went through is that people can’t change their behavior by focusing on their behavior — they change it by focusing on their beliefs. Once I started replacing my faulty beliefs with truth from God’s Word, I began to view myself and my relationships differently. I realized I am a precious, loved child of God, and He has orchestrated special works for me to do.
I figured when I had it all together I would be ready to start a ministry site, but I have discovered that this transformation of beliefs is ever-ongoing and is truly a life-long process. Every time I think I have one area mastered, God starts working on me in a different area, and I have stopped writing from the place of “I have it all together” to “I am a work in progress.”
After starting the site, in talking with some other women God brought my way, I realized I wasn’t alone in having to learn what it meant to find identity in Christ. I found many other Christian women who had struggled in similar areas. Though their stories differ slightly from mine, at their core is the same truth that I had to find: it is impossible to love and appreciate who God made you to be unless you know and accept who He says you are.
With that in mind, I aim with each article I publish to encourage and help you on your journey to discovering your beautiful worth and purpose in Christ. Armed with the knowledge of how much God loves and values you, you will be able to become all you were meant to be!
Blessings,
Carol Whitaker
